Boris announced we must all change our plans

Because he’d invented tier four

The pubs would be closed, and you can’t see your gran,

Go straight home and lock all your doors!

Cancel the bird,

Freeze the spuds and the sprouts,

Get a microwave meal for one.

Enjoying yourself we cannot allow,

Until this bloody virus is gone.

Some refuse to believe that COVID is real,

That this illness is all a big con.

Some say that the Russians cut a deal with Bill Gates

And that Boris is really James Bond.

But most people are happy to live by the rules

They say that those theories are crazy

Online shopping they think, is saving the world

When it’s just an excuse to be lazy.

To keep safe we stayed home, talked to people on zoom

Avoiding their coughs and their sneezes

But boredom set in and we drank too much wine

And now we have type two diabetes.

We hope the end is in sight, now a cure has been found

But some wonder if we’re being told the truth,

Since Gladys age 90 had the vaccine last week

her left nipple picks up radio two.